November 2014

Living in Denial? …

November 24, 2014

Wow. 2014 is coming to a wrap. This year has truly flown by for me. I realized the last post I’ve written was well over 6 months ago! It truly has been an emotional roller coaster over the past few months and if I look “out” at all the events and circumstances around me at the moment there would be a point not so long ago where I would be completely absorbed by what was happening ‘out there’ and would have believed that “it” was the cause of everything I was feeling ‘in here’. Funnily this isn’t the case today. I can no longer cast blame on the world out there for how I’m feeling at any given moment. For I’ve been shown the ‘magic’ trick, I’ve witnessed the veil lift from my thought-created reality and have seen that I am the creator of my feeling state at any given moment.

So, what changed?

This time last year, life at work was somewhat turbulent with talk of looming redundancies and possible restructuring and job cuts. In retrospect I can see now how I got completely carried away and obsessed by my negative thought clouds. It was “the” topic I would speak about to anyone and everyone and any time I would catch myself in a ‘lighter’ mood, I would diligently drag myself back down into the doldrums because it was a “serious” matter and I needed to “think” very “seriously” about it because I was a “serious” person. Or so I believed at the time. Somehow though in those rare bouts of quiet I came across the book “Clarity: Clear Mind. Better Performance. Bigger Results” by my now coach and mentor, Jamie Smart.

I started reading at the time not really grasping much of what Jamie was pointing to but I remember “feeling good” as I read through and attributed my lighter mood to him and his book and thus set off on a goal to learn more from Jamie so I attended a workshop he ran earlier this year and then ended up signing up to a year-long practitioner program that kicked off just a few months ago. However, the more I dove in to the understanding of the principles behind our state-of-mind the more I started to see this had nothing to do with Jamie! This was all being created by me. The highs, the lows, the entire spectrum of emotions. One source. Disorienting didn’t begin to explain how I was feeling at the time!

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