Natural. The New Normal.

January 30, 2015

What an incredible few weeks it’s been so far. I’ve just returned from module 4 of the Clarity practitioner program and can definitely say there’s been some behind-the-scenes gentle ‘software’ upgrade going on in my head!

Since then I have been going over the whole ‘natural’ versus ‘normal’ discussion Jamie shared with us and looking at the state of things going on currently at work, where our organization announced 7,000 job cuts over the next few weeks, insecurity and fearful thinking are running rampant in every corridor and meeting room at work. Yet, despite it all I’m finding myself in a space of still inner calm, I can’t explain or understand it but I am definitely noticing it more. My wonderment comes as my intellect trying to make sense of this because what we know as ‘normal’ in times of downsizing and layoffs is stress, worry, anxiety, fearful thinking (you get the hint…) and feelings of peace, calm, stillness are definitely not considered a normal state to be in – if anything they bring about strange looks and whisperings of living in denial; yet without trying to actively get myself into this calmer state-of-mind I’m finding myself more and more there, which begs the question then is this a natural occurrence?

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Hope … and all that jazz!

January 1, 2015

I need to take a moment to reflect that we really are in 2015! How did these last twelve months spin by? What a year it’s been. I’ll have to rewind a bit earlier, 13 months ago something started to ‘stir’. I had no idea what was in store for me but over a year on I’m finally getting reacquainted with my true self!

I’ve always been a worrier, ever since grade school, worrying about grades, not doing well enough, not being liked enough, not saying the “right” thing, or choosing the “right” major in school, keeping everyone happy (but me!), trying so very hard to “fit” into a model ascribed by social doctrines and traditions that my soul found very hard to digest, yet, I had to comply. Or so I “thought”…

Fast-forward to November 2013, a point in my life I’d say was my ultimate “worry” destination. With looming redundancies, a then 2-year old to look after and a back injury that left me out of work for three weeks life looked at its bleakest for me. Randomly without much thinking I recall reading an email about a workshop on Clarity for Business and Personal success that was being held in London in February. For some strange reason I felt compelled to sign up. That email then spurred a curiosity about the title of the book Clarity, which led to me ordering and reading the book which then spun off a myriad of other books that soon followed including Michael Neill’s  ‘The Inside Out Revolution’… Again, all I can remember from that time was something stirring but I couldn’t really put my finger on it, I had no clue what was going on but I remember for the first time in a long while I felt good…

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Living in Denial? …

November 24, 2014

Wow. 2014 is coming to a wrap. This year has truly flown by for me. I realized the last post I’ve written was well over 6 months ago! It truly has been an emotional roller coaster over the past few months and if I look “out” at all the events and circumstances around me at the moment there would be a point not so long ago where I would be completely absorbed by what was happening ‘out there’ and would have believed that “it” was the cause of everything I was feeling ‘in here’. Funnily this isn’t the case today. I can no longer cast blame on the world out there for how I’m feeling at any given moment. For I’ve been shown the ‘magic’ trick, I’ve witnessed the veil lift from my thought-created reality and have seen that I am the creator of my feeling state at any given moment.

So, what changed?

This time last year, life at work was somewhat turbulent with talk of looming redundancies and possible restructuring and job cuts. In retrospect I can see now how I got completely carried away and obsessed by my negative thought clouds. It was “the” topic I would speak about to anyone and everyone and any time I would catch myself in a ‘lighter’ mood, I would diligently drag myself back down into the doldrums because it was a “serious” matter and I needed to “think” very “seriously” about it because I was a “serious” person. Or so I believed at the time. Somehow though in those rare bouts of quiet I came across the book “Clarity: Clear Mind. Better Performance. Bigger Results” by my now coach and mentor, Jamie Smart.

I started reading at the time not really grasping much of what Jamie was pointing to but I remember “feeling good” as I read through and attributed my lighter mood to him and his book and thus set off on a goal to learn more from Jamie so I attended a workshop he ran earlier this year and then ended up signing up to a year-long practitioner program that kicked off just a few months ago. However, the more I dove in to the understanding of the principles behind our state-of-mind the more I started to see this had nothing to do with Jamie! This was all being created by me. The highs, the lows, the entire spectrum of emotions. One source. Disorienting didn’t begin to explain how I was feeling at the time!

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So, today I turned 35. I don’t normally ponder birthdays and am not particularly a big ‘birthday’ kind of person but this one seems worth stopping by a bit. Half way to the big 4-0 and five away from 30 when I thought I’d have life all figured out. I was wrong! The learning never stops. So in an ‘outside-in’ world that relishes hiding one’s actual age I find myself quite blessed that I get to grow a year older, hopefully wiser, and build another year’s worth of memories.

The last twelve months have been a real journey. More so, a journey of self-discovery and slowing down. I would say the last four months in particular were the most profound as that’s coincidentally when I started learning about the Three Principles behind our experience of life. I gradually stopped caring so much about the ‘stuff’ I’d been preoccupied with caring about for the last thirty odd years and just started appreciating being here. I started to get glimmers of clarity. Even though there was so much more going on around me I found myself slowing down and being more mindful. The ‘stuff’ in all aspects of my life stopped being so important. The relationships were. The connections were. My presence was. Living more in the moment and fretting less about what the future may or may not hold. Finding the joy in simple everyday moments. Learning to trust that we are OK no matter what. We have all the resources we need. What a relief to know we don’t need to figure it all out. Life just is.

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Life Just Is.

March 5, 2014

My first post of 2014 and it’s March already. Two months down, ten to go. They just flew by. Some of those days were more memorable than others. Some were just a blur. What I realize now is they just were. Life just was. Passing as it does.

As I look back on the latter part of 2013 and the stress and anxiety I was facing and now at the first few months of 2014 and the calmer, mellower take I have on life I see that it’s not what’s “out there” that has changed. My perceived stressful, annoying, frustrating, [insert adjective] “circumstances” haven’t changed. Everything is still pretty much the same; but completely different at the same time.

So what changed? I started to actually see where my experience of life was coming from. It wasn’t the external circumstances, events, people, or situations I was dealing with. It was always and has always been from within. Life, the world, reality (whatever that is) just is. We ‘see’ and feel our own version of reality based on what we’re thinking in the moment. We’ve all been given a miraculous ability to think. I hadn’t really tuned in to that before. The fact that we can think. Yes, yes we think I hear you say, so what? This means our feelings, emotions, mental state, stress, anxiety – you name it – is only ever a product of our thinking in that very moment. Am I losing you now, OK good we’re getting somewhere!

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