The ‘Real’ Slim Shady

June 14, 2015

While it may seem far fetched that Eminem of all people would inspire this post; but then again my views and perceptions have been blitzed to shreds lately and I’m seeing that wisdom is all around even in the most unpredictable places!

May I have your attention please? Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? – Eminem

I’ve been extremely fortunate to be able to experience a Clarity life transformation retreat with a group of open-hearted, courageous pioneers in the area of human potential last month. While I’d thought that I uncovered lots of layers of the true “me” and had let go of much “baggage” on the year-long Clarity journey I’d been on, I naively didn’t expect to get much more out of the retreat beyond rest, relaxation and fun in the sun. Well, I was wrong!

For the past thirty six years of my life I’d held on to strong ideas and beliefs about “who I was”, “what I liked”, “what I didn’t like” and so on and so forth. Little did I know that those ideas were made up of the same ‘nothingness’ that dreams are made of…Yet, I believed those ideas and saw them as truth and as a very clear depiction of “my reality”. Those were the cards I was dealt and I had to make peace with that. For years I’d tell myself I was a ‘short-tempered’ person; an ‘impatient’ person, an ‘unemotional’ person, a ‘hates-the-outdoors’ kind of person, a ‘doesn’t-wear-bright colours-ever’ person, and on and on. No surprise then that the shape my life took was a direct reflection of those made up ideas about this “me”. If you opened my wardrobe less than a year ago, you’d find different shades of black, grey and navy. The odd white or other neutral colour would make an appearance on occasion but I was cloaked in dark colours most of the time. Much to my poor Mum’s horror.

What a total surprise then when little by little those ideas started to seem less real and concrete and I started to open up to the possibility that maybe, just maybe there was more to me than who I thought I was, lo and behold I suddenly saw this new world in front of me, a world where there were yellow suede loafers and orange handbags, polka dots and stripes and other quirky designs. The same would go for the idea of even remotely considering colouring my hair several shades lighter. This journey of of being reacquainted with that old self as one would meet an old and dear friend they’ve lost contact with along the way started to make me wonder how true any of our held perceptions of ourselves really are. This got me thinking about “personality” and the boxes we ascribe to different people, yet I started to see myself oscillating on a continuum of different ‘personalities’ per se depending on whatever form my thinking took in the moment. From introversion to extroversion from optimism to pessimism from melancholy to an unexplainable ‘joie de vivre’, I was able to truly experience it all with no restrictions and no judgments and know that this ‘buffet’ of human experiences was available to us all at any moment and what a gift that was.

So why does this matter, well for starters I’ve been able to do things over the past year that I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined be remotely possible ‘for someone like me’. As we come to the end of the Clarity practitioner program this June, with a bittersweet sense of nostalgia I reflected on my journey over the last year and here’s just a little bit of how life looks totally different today to the person that walked into the room in Regent’s college back in September:

  1. I kayaked for the first time!
  2. Then I paddle boarded…and LOVED it!
  3. I hugged random strangers
  4. Shown up to an interview totally UNPREPARED
  5. Got offered the job based on THAT interview
  6. Let go of the concept of “job security”
  7. Started just showing up to work with literally no “thinking” and having an impact
  8. Lost 10 lbs “effortlessly”
  9. Become a green juice junkie
  10. Seen the awesomeness of the human spirit
  11. Been vulnerable with a group of people who were not my immediate family and felt totally safe
  12. Had loads of fun being ME (who knew Lip Sync battles were SO fun!)
  13. Owned bright colored clothes and shoes (including neon bright hues)
  14. Let my hair down – literally
  15. Colored my hair
  16. Waded through the UNKNOWN in total calm, peace and grace
  17. Climbed half way up a Volcano
  18. Started sketching and drawing again
  19. Connected with people all over the globe who are looking in the same direction
  20. Truly LOVING who I am, niggles, quirks and all
  21. Embraced my inner thug – we all have one
  22. Let my 3 year old go to “school” in her pyjamas – just because it made her happy
  23. Grew to love the stray cat at my parents’ home (reminder: anyone who knew me well knew I was terrified of cats)
  24. Spent 3 hours in a spa and NOT felt guilty
  25. Said YES to life
  26. No longer scared to live…

We all have an inner Slim Shady, why not let yours come out to play in the game of life!







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